when dreams become reality

whether just a dream or real life, i saw my grampa about a week ago. i was not able to fall asleep one night so i simply closed my eyes and wished i could talk to him. suddenly i felt as if i came out of my body and entered into this room made solely out of clouds; the floors, the walls, the ceilings. everything. it was very bright and sunny inside this cloud room. at first, i looked around and saw nothing, but then, my grampa appeared as a hologram-like figure. his image continuously switched between him as a young baseball player (like the picture we having hanging in our dining room) and him as an older man (like how i would remember him). i remember getting frustrated with him because he could not make up his mind on how he wanted to look, and i was tired and just wanted to say hi and then go to sleep! i finally told him to make up his mind, and he chose the older image of himself because it was the one i recognized. he looked happy and healthy. when he spoke to me, he was not suffering through the sentence as he used to in the last couple years of his life; he was able to breathe.

he told me to tell grama that even though she enjoys having coffee with him at his grave site, he is there in the mornings in their kitchen when she has coffee, too, and she does not have to visit the grave site in order to be with him; he is always around. he also told me to tell my mother that the baby she miscarried between my brother and i, sophia, reminded him of me when i was younger. i did not have a chance to ask him anything or even speak to him because sophia ran into the room wanting him to play with her. in my "dream", sophia was about six-years-old, and she was wearing a bright red dress with lace around the trim. she had on black tights with black shoes, and her hair golden brown, soft curls were in pig tails with red ribbons. she looked like a little girl all dressed up for christmas. before they left, they both looked at each other and then at me and smiled. together, in unison, they said that they would see me soon, and then, hand-in-hand, walked away. as they walked away, they slowly disappeared into the clouds, and i woke up in my bed with butterflies in my belly; it was the feeling i got when i used to swing high as a kid.

i wish i would have been able to ask questions or speak, but i have not figured out how to yet or even if i can. the visit was so short so i do not know if there would be much time for talking. mostly, it is just a vision; it is like a short movie playing as clearly as it would on television.

the room interests me. was i in heaven? or was i in some sort of room where people on earth are able to see and speak with people in heaven during their dreams?

it was unlike anything i have ever experienced because when i used to see sophia when i was little, she would come to me in my room or backyard, and i would not have to be sleeping in order to see her. maybe that was because we were both children, though. maybe when a person is older, they must meet their loved ones instead of their loved ones simply coming to them.

during the whole experience, not once did i feel scared, confused, or alone; i was happy.

my grama posted this picture a couple days after my encounter which was surreal as this is exactly what he looked like when i saw him minus the clothing as i was unable to see what he was wearing, and i think his hair and glasses were slightly different. but the smile was the same.

will we ever meet again?

i hate change. and i hate the unknowns in life. hate may be a strong word... i fear change? and i fear the unknowns in life? it is so difficult to admit your fears because once admitted, they become a reality, and once a reality, they begin to encompass your life. though slightly terrifying, the fear of the unknown drives you to experience the new and exciting things life has to offer. so i am torn. is change good? or bad?

keeping with the theme, heaven is a huge unknown and a slightly scary thought for most. i grew up always knowing there is a heaven and a god though i did not know understand what exactly occurs after death. does anyone really? i remember my mother telling me how heaven could be anything and everything i wanted it to be. naturally, i wanted a room made of ice cream where i could eat ice cream all day long and never get a tummy ache. typical child. but is that really how it works? you can just wish for something in heaven and essentially get what you want? do you have to ask for it? or does god sense it and prepare it for when you arrive? will heaven be fun? how is it possible for there to be no pain or sorrow when our earthly lives are filled with them?

and do not even get me started on eternity. just the mere thought of it makes my brain hurt and my heart race. it is so surreal because nothing on this earth lasts forever. yet, in heaven, we will.

mind-boggling.

i kinda wish my grampa could just tell me what it is like. do they have rooms full of ice cream? what do you look like in heaven? old like when you died, or young like when you played baseball and jumped out of airplanes? have you met anyone significant in history? have you met god? what does he look like?

if my grampa somehow answers any of these questions, i will write about it, but in the mean time, check out the book heaven is for real. it is the story about a little boy's trip to heaven and back. it comforted some of my unknown fears about heaven and the afterlife. overall, it is a neat story! a link to the book on amazon can be found below.





http://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Real-Little-Astounding-Edition/dp/0849948363/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336977530&sr=1-1