the importance of a memory

"memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose" -kevin arnold

because our cable was acting funky this past week, i spent most of my "tv time" watching home videos of when i was younger rather than actual television. the films began moments after i was born. i heard my mother and father talking about how perfect i was, how i was going to be a girly-girl, and how much they already loved me. i watched my family hold me for the first time and welcome me into the family. then, my birth ended, and halloween began. at this time, i was four months old. i watched as my parents tried to involve me in pumpkin carving and as they dressed me up in this awful yet humerous pumpkin costume; i resembled the little boy from "a christmas story". 


this is what i resembled on halloween except i was a pumpkin. i'm not sure which is worse...

then, i watched my first christmas as my parents put a rather large santa hat on me. when the hat would fall down and cover my face, everybody would laugh. it was quite adorable, but i felt bad for my helpless, little self! that is also when this picture was taken. after helping my grampa open his presents (he was so patient with me!), i opened this walker. he helped me put it together, and held me up to it as i could not quite stand alone yet. precious.
 

i know i posted this picture already, but from watching my home videos, i actually saw when this picture was taken. it was incredibly weird to actually watch a picture being taken almost twenty years ago. crazy!! i love this picture.

after a while of watching myself as a baby, i watched as my two-year-old self opened countless christmas presents, threw temper tantrums, and smiled for the camera. i watched myself as my family traveled to the cabin, paul bunyan land, and to both of my grandparents' houses.

the saying goes something like, "you never appreciate what you have until it is gone." i did appreciate my family, and i still do. family is everything, the most important aspect of one's life. cherish every moment with family and friends because one never knows when it could be the last phone call, last hand shake, or last hug. but when that "last" does happen, taken time to mourn; it is okay to be sad, to cry, and to feel alone, but never forget the memories because those will live on forever.

my grampa lives on forever through my memories.