it has been exactly three weeks since i lost my grampa. this is the first time i have been able to write about it which seems odd because i have always turned to writing as a way to express myself- particularly my feelings. through the countless sleepless nights (which is awful being as i'm a college student), it never occurred to me to write.
simply. just. write.
other than putting a few pets to sleep, i've never really experienced death. i would assume crying is normal, yet i haven't cried for more than an hour total in the last three weeks. i feel as if i am not "grieving properly". i am surely not over his death by any means. maybe i haven't accepted it yet. or am i still mad? sad? confused?
d. all of the above
i don't want to sound selfish by saying the typical "what i wouldn't give for one more day" line, but it is true- not only in my case but for everyone grieving a loss. i know death is part of the "circle of life" as lion king says, but i simply wasn't ready to let him go yet. or ever.
hopefully tonight is sleepfull night rather than sleepless.
goodnight, world.
and goodnight, grampa. <3
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